Waiting


Dawn filled the space of where

you had just been sleeping

talons of sunlight gripping my heart

and our lantern child’s sweet orange smile,

carved from Hallowed October night

our two-toothed ghost of orange love

formed by gentle hands

grins through the window

and remembers your touch,

while learning the lesson

that it’s harder to be

the one left behind

than the one who does the leaving

Alone with the ocean and tree-boned beach

Eagle claims her driftwood beam

gazing across sparkling waters

she waits for spring and her mate’s return

while my heart beats behind her

~

written for Thursday Poets Rally Week 55: http://promisingpoetsparkinglot.blogspot.com/2011/11/agreement-for-thursday-poets-rally-week.html

and Poetry Pantry of Poets United

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36 Comments

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36 responses to “Waiting

  1. Oh, this hurt my heart in such a wonderfully painful way. I hope that makes sense.

  2. Ina

    It is harder to be the one left behind. Beautiful poem.

  3. Your poem’s heart beats with sadness and I admire the beautiful lyrical quality of it.

  4. This is really good stuff. I love the imagery. Nice job.
    William

  5. Sweet sorrow is the perfect phrase. I can relate to this; although I’ll say that sometimes it’s just as hard being the one who leaves. The photo compliments the poem perfectly.

    • Yes, that’s true – when I left to come here, I suddenly had to face the reality of my decision and there were definitely moments when I questioned my sanity, let alone whether I could stick with it. It can be a bit lonely being the new kid on the block. 🙂

  6. I agree with the sweet sorrow, a beautifully written piece

  7. In some instances yes, it’s harder to be the one left behind to wait but then, isn’t the one who has left also waiting somewhere too in a sense?
    Lovely imagery and beautiful Eagle pic.
    The description of the pumpkin face was wonderful

    • Thanks – he carved the pumpkin and it’s still sitting on the porch, grinning at me, reminding me of how sweet he is. The eagle was on the beach moments after I dropped him off. The whole time he was here, he hoped to see an eagle and there eagle was – but my sweetheart just missed him. That’s okay – he has more than one reason to come back now. 🙂

  8. love to see the bond between a parent and a child, well penned.

    😉

    • The bond was actually between sweethearts, but I can see how the Halloween pumpkin leads you to the other conclusion. That puts the poem in a whole different light – how interesting… Thanks for the different point of view!

  9. Kick Out The Jams

    That is lovely and painful and sad, wonderful.

  10. Kay Salady

    Lovely metaphors utilized for the “clawing at your heart” pain. Gripping.

    http://kaysalady.wordpress.com/2011/11/01/the-darkness/

  11. waiting for spring and her mate’as return, it could be hard.

    your words ring through the page smoothly, hard to stop and think each line and how it refers, but love the whole imagery.

    elegant poetry on life’s flip side, it is a thrill to read you.

  12. Great job! “that it’s harder to be… the one left behind… than the one who does the leaving” so very true!! I really enjoyed your poem. Blessings, Terri

  13. Nel

    This captures the emotion of the poem: its sun talons gripping my heart.
    I particularly like the metaphors you’re using. 🙂

  14. the waiting always hurts…this was extremely wonderfully written.

  15. Beautiful write, the sense of longing so palpable yet a patience in the words. ~ Rose

  16. This was truly a masterpiece I really did enjoy it, and the message of the discourse of abandonment, waiting and longing.

  17. This is a beautiful poem that transcends the time of year.

  18. “while learning the lesson

    that it’s harder to be

    the one left behind

    than the one who does the leaving”…stellar lines.

  19. Poignant and mournful – thank you for sharing.

  20. Love this one, it looks like a reality-soap. Very well done

  21. Those talons do have a way of reaching out…*smiles.* Cool write.

  22. How painful it is to be left behind…. Sigh I so know the feeling 😦 😦 sad yet beautiful words here 🙂

  23. Lovely piece well executed. Good imagery… *smile* So many have already used up all the good adjectives, but well done!

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