Across the breakfast table…


You sit, absorbed in another thick spy intrigue murder mystery political uprising story with just enough sex in it to keep you checking the this-has-all-the-right-ingredients tick box, designating the author as a best seller, stellar tale-teller who makes lots of money writing. His books fill your shelves to prove it.  We had to get rid of some last year to just make room for more.

Meanwhile I reside here on my chair with a fifty-page volume, so slender it could be mistaken for a magazine – if only it was taller, wider and the cover more flimsy than it is now. My book is one of only two that the poet ever published before he died. I need never worry about running out of room for his books or becoming bored with the same shape, plot and characters that, reworked one hundred and one different ways, receive new names and settings in each predictable story.

There you, enmeshed with the pages of your New York Times book-of-the-week, engaged with fast-paced heros and caricatured characters – thinner than the paper that holds their names – eat cereal and read, oblivious of my thoughts or even aware that I share the table with you, along with the salt, napkins and sugar bowl. I bet my poet would have written about the bowl; how the lid always drops sweet crumbs on the table; how I carefully wipe them up, look at you and smile.

Photo courtesy of Diane Waldron

4 Thursday Poets Rally week 28

Feel free to comment and star-grade. Thank you for reading!

Advertisements

30 Comments

Filed under Flash & Micro Fiction, Poetry, Uncategorized

30 responses to “Across the breakfast table…

  1. This is gorgeous, the scene just drips of the screen.
    http://lamainnoire.wordpress.com/

    • Your lovely comment upholds my feeling that poetry will never need clearing from the shelves. Thank you for giving me something to show my sweetheart that I’m not the only one who thinks this. 🙂

  2. I’m so sad for them both. Complacency has stifled so many people’s dream and desires. But what WOULD we do, given the chance to freely fly?

    You mentioned ‘flash fiction’ on a comment on PoMotion. I am beginning to question where poetry ends and fiction begins. You walk the line beautifully. Thanks. Sue

    • Thank you for your kind comments. I agree, (Rich always rolls his eyes when I use the P word – he thinks “roses are red…etc is poetry) modern poetry is more about free-flowing thought, a constant stream with a natural music of beats and sound. Being poets we observe intensely – it’s that little quirk that catches our imagination – that shadow on the wall that tells more about the object which casts it – and we pour out the words much like a child who sees snow for the first time and has to turn and share the wonder of it with anyone who is watching. Look! Snow! Alot of the flash fiction I have read reads more like modern poetry, so I agree with you – the line is very blurry. I think though, that flash fiction doesn’t have to have the music so much as a story-line: action, reaction, climax, ending – often unexpected and opening the door to another story, leaving the reader wanting more. Whereas poetry is finished when it’s finished. Does that make sense?

  3. carolyn cochran

    Very visual, Cindy. I’m there with you!

  4. This is so beautiful. You write of the differences so lovingly. I have to admit I’m addicted to “those” books too (read my books page), but I also have a good-sized bookcase filled with poetry books.

    I really loved the feel of this piece.

    Pearl

  5. You caught the loving feeling of this piece, whereas another reader caught the sense of complacency. That’s such exciting feedback for me, showing that it depends on the reader’s feelings or experiences as to whether they interpret it as sad or deeply happy. It doesn’t matter if the reader ‘got it right’ or not. When the piece becomes a little about the reader and where they are at that moment, I call it a mirror poem. I love writing mirror-works, whether they are prose or poetry, but I don’t always manage to pull it off. Thanks for your feedback!

  6. Terry

    Not sure exactly why, but this makes me think of ‘it’s more about the spaces than what’s in between them.’
    Lovely poem, bit sad, very beautiful.
    Well done Mum. xx

  7. very aptly plotted lines.

    love the gentle senses and stunning image in it.
    😉
    Thanks for sharing!

  8. i am thrilled to see your sharp observations of your character…
    they seem far away, due to the abstract feelings this piece evokes,
    they seem live within all of us, because of their life as poet or writers and connected to elements of daily well beings, love New York times book of the week idea.
    cheers!

    u rock!
    have fun looking around other participants, quite a few are NEW to you.
    Happy weekend!

    • Thanks, Kathy. You mention style, so I’ll explain something about how I achieve that. I look at my complete sentences when I first script the poem out, and usually I get the word machete and slice out every unnecessary word – forget grammar – I’m a poet. This isn’t fiction, so I can go to town and stick with only the roots of thoughts and images, and use verb forms that are active, rather than passive, (passive lessens impact, as if things just happen to be there, rather than the active verb form which makes them jump off the page). In this poem, I chose to write in full sentences and paragraphs, maybe with some subconscious hope that my sweetheart might relate to a more conservative form and shape, AND read it. 🙂 Thank you for your kind comments.

  9. Woops, I forgot to label it for Week 28. So I just did, you’ll see it down at the bottom of my post. Thanks for the gentle reminder, Jingle!

  10. This is so true!! I am seeing a little of myself too in that poet you mention, Cindy
    As much as I LOVE reading fiction novels, poetry is SOMETHING! It’s all about perception and interpretation.. of the poet AND the reader.. It’s a joint effort (if you will). AND many joint efforts depending on how many read it! And I think that is the best part about poetry!
    But I still love Agatha Christie ! 🙂

    • One of my writing profressors kept hammering-in the message that the language we have in our heads is the language we use to write with. That language gets there from reading, movies and television. So beware what words you eat, he warned us, and encouraged us to read well-written novels, poetry and even scientific books. Like you, I enjoy a good cheap adventure, detective or love story, but these days I limit my reading diet to moderation and restrict the quickie novels to the category of occasional treat. It does make a difference. When I look back at what I wrote only five years ago, I cringe. So I realise it’s not about snobbery, it’s about choosing what language I want in my brain. My sweetheart could give a damn about what’s in his brain. He’s far more interested in what I’m going to cook for his belly. 🙂

      • Oh yes..absolutely! And irrespective of the type of language, it’s the idea, and the manner in which the writer wishes to bring it across to the reader, that is of essence…
        Sometimes, the most profoundest of book makes absolutely no sense, and sometimes the most basic level of language used can convey ultimate depths of meaning!
        I totally love this aspect of writing (the feel of writing)… it seems to have a heart of its own.. 🙂

  11. Nicely written. Details that capture and express so much. An understated and powerful scene. – bill

  12. brokenpenwriter,

    you have so many gifts granted from the realm of the creative! I see the bravery you see inm y work inyour own!

    I too feel fear everyday when it comes to embracing my creative side…trust me!

    I love your piece, and am excited to read more and more.

    http://lovelyannie79.wordpress.com/2010/09/08/patriarch-thursday-poets-rally/

  13. ohhhhh….my. I know these moments. The “caricature characters” line is brilliant! Oh, love this so much. The image, too. Is it yours? Now I want to go buy a white rocking chair and photograph it.>>> creativity breeds creativity. I thank you for that!

    • Thanks Julie, I appreciate your comments. My sister took this photo of her chair on her porch in St Simon’s Island, Georgia. She will pleased to learn that she played a part in sparking your creative for for tomorrow’s project. 🙂
      I visited your site and really enjoyed your style. It’s funny and has lots of character (original – not caricatured)

  14. Someone Is Special

    Brilliant.. So good…

    Sweet Dish

    –Someone Is Special–

  15. You’re a great storyteller–I was captivated and could relate to it.

    http://angelacohan321.wordpress.com

  16. You give life to every written piece and turn it into a masterpiece. What an inspiration you are to so many dear Cindy. I thank you for giving us so much!!
    Kavita and me are inviting you to share your wonderful work with us on Monday with the launch of Jingle’s new site. Please visit us here:- http://jinglepoetry.blogspot.com/
    Much love ~ Amanda x

    • Hi Yasser, Yes, I do visualize when I write, The more clearly I see the details, the better chance I have to share the experience in a poem. Not necessarily to describe everything, but to converse with it, so that you can listen in, as if you were right there. Thanks so much for reading and commenting. I enjoyed your smiling poem today – it was lovely.

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s