It takes more than a fan
and four hours of sunless dark
to erase the heat from the day
and you from my mind
At times I yearn just to pick up the phone
and listen to the sound of you now
Out in the black of this August night
the full moon sprays passion in silvered light
upon everything it touches
the madness of lovers and poets
the crazy thoughts that skip across the dark
and the years that forget: time passes
It is then that I remember hiding in the barn
waiting for that silent silhouette to appear
that black form of you
framed by the edges
of weathered,
horse-kicked, age-battered doors
you, standing against the dusty stars
a milky way that you said you couldn’t see
yet so broad, it banded the sky behind your shoulders
and drew your body, larger and larger, upon its porous canvas
as you drew closer to me
Those warm soft nights of nickle-sheened light
spilled across the silence of arms enclosing
sweet naked sweat
born in shadows, straw and hay
and our breath
your watchful dog’s wagging tail
our only opponent, giving us and our secret away
The fan and the heat have fought this day
though neither have won the night or me
it is sleep that now begs this poet to bed
where passion will flicker
into tomes of dreams
and ashes of broken lovers
Thursday Poets Rally week 27
Photo: Google images at www.bjvicks.com/exposed/index.php?showimage=5
I really enjoyed that
Thank you, TL. So did the night…
Pingback: Thursday Poets Rally Week 27 (August 26-Sept 1, 2010) | Jingle
strewn across the silence of arms enclosing
bared secrets safe in shadows and hay
with only your dog’s watchful, wagging tail
to give us and our secret away
sweet poem,
true love is irreplaceable!
well done!
:0
I linked your poem in,
simply scan the participants list,
comment for a minimum 18 poets…
let me know after you are done….
doing this will help you get feedback, hopefully,
more poets enjoy your talent here.
🙂
Happy Thursday!
Thanks, Jingle – I have to go to work now, so will scan and reply tonight.
very passionate!
thanks Jessica. Alas, the hot night is over…
such an intimate moment…Thanks for being willing to share
Simply reading your words evoked tactile,emotional experience…I can’t imagine how wonderful those nights really were!!!
Thanks for the kind feedback, annie.
stunning! i really enjoyed this.. thanks for sharing..
ur pen seems to be fine 🙂
Thanks, Leo. Luckily the broken pen led me to the keypad.
Such vivid images. Wistful and longing. It moved me.
Thank you, mistyT. I look forward to reading from your site, as I do from all the other kind readers who commented.
I want a “Love” button for this poem, please WordPress… just for this one!!!!
This was ultra romantic, and awesome!!! Brought back some lovely memories too… (blushing)
I fell for the imagery, Cindy!!! YOU ROCK!!! I have to say, this is poetry at it’s best!!!!
Thanks, Kavita. For me, when I read a poem with imagery, if I can see how they affect the environment around them, then they seem more three-dimensional and become more real. I tried to do that here, particularly with his silhouette growing larger against the night sky as he walked closer. If he just walked closer, it would have seemed two-dimensional, but the action of his walking changed what I saw behind and around him – it slows the scene down and pulls you into it. So glad you enjoyed it.
Well said, Cindy!!! I see what you mean by the slow 3-D effect… yes, that made perfect sense!!
And oh, i MORE THAN ENJOYED it! I almost lived it! 🙂
We learn as we go – writing is, after all, a craft. It’s fun, ain’t it? 🙂
It sure is!!! 🙂
nothing to stop me commenting on this whilst here..a beautiful poem..great imagery, excellently written..cheers pete
Thanks, Pete. So glad you enjoyed it.
I feel like you are letting me in on a secret….a midnight rendezvous!
Thank you for sharing 🙂
If a poem invites you in, and you enter – feet, body, mind and all, then the poet has succeeded with his/her magic. Thank you for visiting and your kind comment.
What an enchanting picture of the moon… it does shine “pewter-sheened light” – what magical words you used to describe the setting of your romantic memories. I could feel the thrill of anticipation. Beautiful…
thanks Barbara! I always remember that quote of a famous (sorry, I forget which one) author who said (paraphrase) don’t tell me the moon is shining – show me the way the moonlight casts pale shadows of leaves on the wall. That stuck in my mind and every time I even mention the moon, I’m nervous about how I handle it. So I really appreciate your comment.
You never ever seize to amaze my girlfriend…This was sooooo romantic and I want to be in the moment…fantastic imagery so perfectly written!! You are such a good poet…I look up to you, a true inspiration my friend ..Hugs x
Thanks, amanda; i feel humbled to have this from you – the romance queen of wordpress.
LOLOL…that comment made me laugh!! Mwah xx
You see what I mean? You even know how to spell a kiss in longhand. amazing…
Incredible writing! I really enjoyed that. It kept me riveted from the 1st line.
Thanks Lisa, and Happy Birthday!
Beautiful!
Thanks, Neva
Beautiful and breathless poem. I love the easy rhymes that find their way into the poem. I also enjoyed how you distribute the lines and allow the images to pop out. Lovely poem.
Thank you, 83. I apprciate it so much when comments include feedback on parts that the reader liked or found difficult in some way; Glad you picked up on the ‘music’ of rhymes. I find that’s what makes a poem work for me, when there’s music in the words. I also enjoyed visiting your site and left comments there for you.
Very “heated” poetry–I love it. Victoria
Thanks Victoria! I have visited your site and love what I read – just added you to my blog roll.
You had me hooked from the first lines and your flow of words pulled me onward through the tale. Your style is wonderfully pictoral! A great write.
http://mairmusic.wordpress.com/
Thank you so much for such lovely feedback. I feel inspired to write more now…
I think you words have enspired me even more than I thought possible.
beautiful.
http://kashaw.wordpress.com/2010/08/21/the-northern-lights/
Katherine, thank you for your very kind words. Coming from an epic-poetry writer, I treasure them.
For you:
Oops! guess it would help if I picked one award…(technology challenged)
Here ya go, what I meant to link:

Have a great day!
Thank you so much – what a lovely page of happy thoughts to carry through the day.
Such a wonderful piece… I’ve felt many of these same feelings and I like the way you describe them.
Thank you, Gally. Coming from such a brilliant writer, I feel humbled.
Very nice poem. Thanks for sharing.
Thanks, Wayland. I visited your site and found a lovely discovery!!
Hi Jingle, thank you so much for a new-writer filled week. Through your Thursday rally I have been able to read and meet some wonderful writers, to give comments and get some really helpful feedback on my work. While I wasn’t interested in earning awards, it was kind of some people to pass them in my direction. I’ve no idea how many I comments I wrote – there were lots more than I have ever written in a week, so I’m guessing that 18 was achieved and maybe passed, and I was glad to do so. I am a serious writer, which means I write for the love of writing, to publish and to earn a living. So counting awards and keeping track of my responses are valuable time-spenders that don’t interest me. Too much like working for another bureaucracy, if you know what I mean…we already have to report to federal, state and local government, teachers, bosses, etc. Heck, I have even been badgered for a time sheet from the people I do volunteer work for! I end up wondering, where’s the time for me to write? So please don’t take this the wrong way, I love what you’ve done with your site, but I can’t afford the distractions of counting and spreading awards that mean nothing more than fan-club status. I’d far rather get serious feedback and critique on my work, and for those who share that treasured and valuable service with me, I always give back the same for them. (As I am doing here for you now). There may be other writers who leave the site if they feel this is just a be-nice-to-everybody-and-don’t-forget-to-count-your-awards-and-responses-site-and-report-to-me-when-you-do. I think you got a great thing started and many people obviously love the awards – it gives them a boost. Some people get excited when they find a piece of grass, even though there are millions out there already. I don’t. The awards don’t require blood sweat and tears, so why get excited?
You’ve put in a HUGE amount of effort to bring in a host of people and you’ve had some great ideas and given EVERYBODY personal feedback, warm welcome and done an AWESOME job. I take my hat off and applaud you with much admiration. I also look forward to reading future posts and entering some of my own maybe, but I guess I’ll just have to admit, I can’t count. I can write – but I can’t count. Have a wonderful day, dearest jingle.
I liked the line about “dusty stars”–so appropriate for the picture your words were painting. Thanks for sharing!
Thanks, Julie. I tried to show his approach – so black in the already-blackness of the night – a place where no city lights fill the sky, and where only moon and stars light the way. When the moon was gone, as often it was, I had only the milky way to outline his body against the dark; his increasing size confirmed his closeness and that the electricity between me and that shadow wasn’t just imagination.
What beautiful images! I REALLY like this one!
Thanks Christina. Aren’t we writers lucky? We can go there whenever we like. All it takes is a little bit of focus.